V-Day

It's Valentine's Day... and we pay homage... to the mighty St. Valentine of Rome -- the patron saint of greeting card manufacturers worldwide.

So today... as we give and receive our pink sparkley heart shaped scraps of recycled paper saturated in bio-degradable soy ink... and as we partake of the heart-shaped candy sacraments... let us give thanks. Thanks for the incredibly diverse selection of greeting cards which were so richly bestowed upon us this past Christmas season, and for the safe, uncrumpled arrival of so many of those cards.

Let us also look forward to the coming Easter season and ask for blessings upon the multitudes of glitter-coated bunny cards anxiously awaiting the cue to descend and overtake the display racks of retail stores everywhere. May they sell like two-for-one ear rubs at a Ferengi singles bar and bring great wealth and fortune to the almighty church of Hallmark.

Amen. Sign of the H. Kiss. Kiss. Amen.