Attention Women

I heard a most disturbing ad on the radio. It encourages women to surprise their man this Valentine's Day by giving him a Gift Certificate Package to Signature Male -- "Iowa's only upscale barber and day spa just for men."

---shudder---

This is a bad idea.

Why you ask?

Well, let's take a look at one of these so-called Gift Certificate Packages that they would have you believe your man is anxiously hoping to receive.

Mr Perfect (lunch included)
(ADD $18.00 FOR HOUR MASSAGE)
SIGNATURE CUT, SCALP TREATMENT, HAND DETAILING,
FOOT DETAILING, PARAFFIN FOOT TREATMENT,
30 MIN FOOT REFLEXOLOGY, DE-STRESSING FACIAL,
30 MIN MASSAGE.............................................$247.00

I'm sorry, but that's not a gift. That's more like a concession you'd make during marriage counseling. "Okay honey... I promise.... I'll do the Mr Perfect thing..... but.... please... please... can I at least start sleeping in the garage again. It's really cold... and the dog keeps hogging the dog house."

Paraffin Foot Treatment? Foot Reflexology? Have I been bad?

Not to mention.... $247.00. That'd go a long way toward a new DFI NF-4 motherboard and CPU. Or a new video card. Or maybe even a new couch. Hey... I'd even be happy turning around and spending it all on my wife. But doing time at a day spa?

Trust me ladies. I am a man, and I have experienced Valentine's Day. For most men, it is a somewhat stressful time. It's sorta like your annual performance appraisal in romance..... a field in which you find yourself highly unqualified. A field in which the expectations are being set ever higher by the pretty boy Orlando Bloom types reading from scripts.

So... during this stressful Valentine's Day season, take care of your man. Show him you love him. Don't worry so much about gifts and stuff... because odds are he hasn't got a clue what to get you. And by all means, don't torture him by sending him off to be waxed and detailed at the local spa. Remember.... it's supposed to be about love.