purple fish guts

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Birthday dinner

It took a few days... but we finally got a chance to go out for dinner and a movie (minus kids) to celebrate my birthday.

Outback and Star Wars...... mmmmmm....

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!! (Geek?, Thumper?, Puff?)
Z and I are about to start cooking you cinniman rolls for breakfast. We'll try and be quiet so you can sleep in, although the yummy smells might just get you out of bed!

Friday, May 27, 2005


At band practice the other night there was some discussion about a possible nickname for me. You see..... Steve (the leader) and I have the same name... and it's difficult to just go by last names because phonetically they differ by only one letter.

A couple suggestions were "geek" (because I'm a self-proclaimed computer geek) and "thumper... you know... for when you're playing bass."

I guess we'll have to see what sticks.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Attention SPAM Lovers

Just a friendly reminder for all you SPAM lovers out there.

Mark you calendars. The time is near.


I think I may have figured out what's been giving me hives for the past few months. I'm still experimenting but it definitely looks promising. I'll keep you posted.

Darth.... is that you?

I'm thinkin' maybe Darth and the Burger King have been hangin' out too much lately. I mean... what's with the limp wrist? And it looks like he's gonna hurt himself with that light saber.

I dunno..... but that's definitely not the Darth that scared the crap out of me as a kid.

Monday, May 23, 2005

A great punk album

If you're curious..... Amazon has some sound clips.

Some days....

..... you wake up and you just feel like crap.

This is one of those days. I apparently ate something last night that I shouldn't have. I woke up in the middle of the night with hives and a swollen lip. When I woke up this morning I still had hives and my head felt kinda like I'd been hit by a truck.


Saturday, May 21, 2005

Lord Vader is no match for my five-year-old

She defeated Darth her first two tries with "amusement park" and "play doh".
I think she has Jedi potential.

Try it yourself.

Thanks to Dan.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Laughing Out Loud

This made me laugh out loud today. Marksmanship, eh? If you liked that, check out Tony's blog here.

As funny as Tony is, he hasn't (yet) made me laugh as hard as this. Click through all of the pages. By the time I got through Part II, I was laughing hysterically with tears rolling down my face. My oldest thought I was crying.

What's the funniest thing you have read lately?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


You are Fozzie the Bear!! You are a born jokster,
although most of your jokes are absolutely
horrible! You are very friendly and have a
terrific imagination.

Which Muppet are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, May 16, 2005

Jimmy John's update

So... I've been swapping emails with a guy from Jimmy John's "corporate." Bill, the local franchise owner, called me the other day to tell me that he had spoken with someone at corporate about our situation and to expect a call.

A few minutes later.... Bryan called. He explained that where the email originated is a mystery and that they are quite concerned about it and are currently looking into it. Uhhhh.... yeah.....

Anyway... he sent me a vague list of ingredients. I replied by asking for more info on the ingredients of the salami. And here's where it gets funny.

    It's Genoa Salami. I think it has beef and pork in it. If you want to know for sure you will have to notify Genoa.

    There are no spices in the salami that I know of.


Ummm..... notify Genoa? Italy?

This guy is some sort of P.R. person for a chain of sandwich shops and he doesn't know that Genoa is a type of salami. --sigh--

While I'm at it I think I'll call Vienna. I've always wondered what's in those weird little sausage things.

Saturday, May 14, 2005


I stumbled upon a gallery of M.C. Escher's work today. It's fun to look through the different time periods and see how his work evolved.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Joke of the day

My 5-year old telling my 2-year old a joke:

Why did the little dog put the cracker in the fire?

Because he wanted a firecracker.

Funny, huh.

I don't know really know what a firecracker is.

Must be a joke or something.

Is she a natural.... or what?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I don't think I'll be eating at Jimmy John's again

Our family likes eating at Jimmy John's sandwich shop. However, the last time we ate there, Blue had one of his allergic reactions (hives all over and a big fat lip) after eating the Vito sandwich. He and I each went to the corporate website and inquired as to the ingredients of the Vito sandwich to determine what he might be allergic to. We did not know that the other had sent an email. I guess we need to work on our communication skills. I'd say Jimmy John could use some work as well. Here's the response we got back:

    You are obviously dumb @$$es to think we would disclose to you our ingredients.
    Buy a franchise if you want insider info.
    Nice lip by the way.
    Do you two know eachother? If not you should meet.

I emailed Panera with the same question about their Sierra Turkey sandwich. While their website does list ingredients, one of the ingredients they list is "spices", and we suspect a spice might be the problem. This was their reply:

    Thank you for contacting Panera Bread. I have sent your request for the identity of the spices mentioned in the Sierra Turkey Sandwich to our Nutrition Department. This is a very busy department, so don't be surprised if it takes some time to research your question. I will be back in touch as soon as I hear back from them.Thank you again for contacting us. We appreciate your business and value your comments.
    Sincerely, Stella
    Customer Comment Coordinator

Quite a contrast, huh?

I talked to Bill, the local Jimmy John's franchise owner, and he was very nice. He apologized and said he would take the email to the owner's council. I feel sorry for him that he is represented by such a rude company. I recommend that you Ankeny folks who currently eat at Jimmy John's eat at Bill's Pizza (his other restaurant) across the street instead.

Jimmy John has been added to my Matthew 5:22 prayer list. I suspect he needs Jesus.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Dog Wash

"You just wait'll we get home. -mutter-mutter-"

Dog washing machine has pooches in a spin

Monday, May 09, 2005

Bowling Night

Saturday was the second DFI-Street bowling night.

Here's the current standings (I'm king of nothing). I don't really expect the rankings to stay the same. But if they do.... I'm right in line for a prize. w00t!

Heh... I told you I was a geek.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mother's Day

I had a sweet Mother's Day. The girls slept in, which was my first lovely gift. I got to take a long uninterrupted shower and surf the blogs before the MOMMY! MOMMY! 's started up.

Church was great. Blue played bass guitar during worship and looked like he was having a blast. (He later confirmed that he was.) That was something, considering he was up most of the night and felt like poo.

Like most churches, the mothers were honored with flowers and a nice token gift, but I was impressed by how they also especially honored the widows. There are two widows in our congregation, and our church takes the Bible's command to care for the widows seriously. In addition to the home repair they have done for each of the ladies this year, they presented each with a nice gift basket with personal, practical gifts (like gift certificates for gas and hotel for the one whose family is in Missouri.) It is refreshing to see a church apply the Bible in a "this is what we do" way rather than a "this is what you should do" way. I am more and more impressed with our new church every week.

The girls presented me with flowers and lovely handmade cards from Sunday School, which were really special. The girls themselves were especially cute today. They let me play with their hair, and I had fun. Blue is a wonderful stay-at-home daddy, but he doesn't get excited about playing with hair. He can put it up when he has to, like for ballet class, but he doesn't get the fun of putting up hair. (That's OK sweetie -- you do most stuff better than I do!)

After lunch (the best Reuben sandwich in Des Moines) I opened my Mother's Day gift. A very cool purse that I had really wanted. (How ever did you know? *wink*) Z also gave me a precious picture with a little poem and a handprint from preschool. I'm a sappy Mom (like most). I love the handmade stuff. I hope they never waste money on Hallmark cards for me. I'll take scribbles anyday.

We called the grandmas and wished them a Happy Mother's Day. I wish my mom lived closer. She is missing out on so much of the girls growing up. Mom and Dad think it would be backwards to retire and move north. I respect their choice, but Charlotte is just too darn far away.

Supper was with Blue's mom and dad. She loved the gift certificate for a manicure. Blue asked me last week if I thought she would like one for Mother's Day. I told him that I couldn't imagine any women not enjoying a manicure. (Unless of course she bites her nails, but his mom and I have both kicked that habit.) Of course the girls had handmade cards for Grandma too, which she loved.

The day would have been perfect if Blue felt better. We've almost figured out what he is allergic to that is making him feel so miserable off-and-on. (The million dollar question is what do Panera's Sierra Turkey sandwich, Jimmy John's Vito sandwich, and many mexican food restaurants have in common? That is the research project this week.)

Anyway, I had a great Mother's Day, and I love being a mom. Yes, there are times they drive me to imagine child abuse scenarios, but I know God has blessed me with the best family in the world, and I am extremely grateful. Girls, if you ever read this when I am unable to express it to you, know that your mom thinks being a wife and mom are the greatest, and that you are two very smart, beautiful, fun, goofy, wonderful, special, talented, adorable girls that I have every confidence will grow up to be women who rock the world. I love you.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Cinco de Mayo

Well... it's 05-05-05. Cool... huh?

Red Fish thought it was pretty exciting. I dunno.... just seems like another Thursday to me. --shrug--

Except of course..... that it's Cinco de Mayo. In honor of the festive occasion I decided to make a big batch of guacamole to take to the church-small-group-potluck-thingie we had tonight.

I consulted my local guacamole-guru about necessary quantities..... she threw in a couple free avocado handling tips.... and the guacamole was a success. The potluck was okay too. The OREO's stole the show, though. At least IMO.

Lightning in a Bottle

If you like the blues... you've gotta see this movie.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Geek Profile

Your Geek Profile:

Fashion Geekiness: Moderate

Music Geekiness: Moderate

Geekiness in Love: Low

General Geekiness: Low

Academic Geekiness: None

Gamer Geekiness: None

Internet Geekiness: None

Movie Geekiness: None

SciFi Geekiness: None

Hmmm.... let's see... I'm a "regular" at a computer motherboard forum (DFI-Street). And I just spent the past half hour brushing up on my bowling skills at Candystand.com because the DFI-Street bowling league starts tomorrow.

I guess I thought that would've bumped me up the geekiness scale a little bit. Oh well. --shrug--

Monday, May 02, 2005

Turd Meme

I've been tagged for another meme. Thanks Kris.

I guess I'm supposed to write a poem or a ditty or something based on the phrase "Turd in the Punchbowl" and then pass it on.

Well... here goes...

    Lover's Scorn

    Steaming lump... Frothy foam...
    Yes! I WILL make my presence known.

    A can of Alpo... A dog... And time...
    Ahhh... the thoughts of the idle mind.

    The day has come... The time is now...
    As bride and groom make the final vow.

    The perfect arch... The plop sublime...
    Turd in the punchbowl... By design.

I don't know. Maybe someday I'll think of someone to pass it on to.... but I doubt it. Of course.... if you feel inspired.... consider yourself tagged.