Meme Tag

I've been tagged by Kris from Anywhere But Here. Here's the deal.

Immediately following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the worlde." See how easy that is? Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...

And my answers.

Garrr matey! If'n I be a pirate I'd be out sailin' the seas searchin' for them buried treasures. Gaaarr! And I'd be wearin' them floofy ruffledy shirts 'n all..... cuz thats what them bonnie lasses be likin'.

If I could be a musician... I'd go by the name Cap'n Blue and the Singing Kazoo. I would travel the third-rate nightclub / riverboat casino circuit in a VW mini-bus (with special pirate modifications) playing sea chanteys on my kazoo. And I'd wear ruffles... for the babes. Gar-rarrrr!

If I could be an innkeeper... I'd make sure all the beds in my inn had those quarter-eating-bed-shaking contraptions.... and I'd wire them all into a master control unit at the front desk. --evil grin--

If I could be a scientist... I'd petition the federal government for an enormously large grant to study the possible causes and long-term environmental and socioeconomic impacts of a substantial increase in the overall number of suspected under-age llama-riders currently residing in the regions directly surrounding (but not including) eastern and/or south-eastern Bolivia. I would then hire a writer to make something up, a linguist to make it confusing, and Tiger Woods to design an 18-hole mini-golf course to be constructed in my lab.

If I could be an architect... hmmm. I guess that'd make those six years I spent in college studying architecture seem a bit more meaningful.

So anyway.... that's five.

And now to pass on this blessed curse and see if anyone picks it up. Let's go for...

Greg at What Attitude Problem

Gary at Science Fiction Twin

Brett at Beat Canvas -- hmm... just gotta find his e-mail.

Tag.... you're it.

Update -- Gary decided to answer with music. Go check it out.

Update #2 -- I finally got Brett tagged and now his stuff is up.